Tag Archives: presents

You Go, Beaux!

I recently googled, “Can I make my elf go away if my kids are bad?” I didn’t find the answers I sought. What I hoped to see,  was an article explaining the value of lessons learned when kids’ mythical creatures discipline them. I found no such information.

Oh well! I don’t need Internet psychologists to tell me how to raise my kids! Bribery, threats, & the occasional shout aren’t beyond the scope of my parenting style. I’m sorry Yahoo Parenting, it doesn’t matter what your ‘experts’ say, when my child goes crazy in Walmart, I can’t calmly watch because it’s ‘normal.’ It’s not normal to lick the buggy or to throw punches while I’m browsing the shower gel aisle. I’m done!

So, after my useless online research, I marched straight into sissy’s room where Beaux the Elf sat. I yelled to him about all the ridiculous behaviors I had observed, while my children looked at me as if I were crazy. Sissy laughed and started telling Beaux to come back anyway. Bubba & Baby Boy didn’t seem to care.

Now, I’m sitting here on the couch fuming! I am truly tired of the wildness! Tomorrow, Beaux will be gone along with the presents! Here is Beaux’s obligatory explanation. (It rhymes of course.)

Your whining, crying, & meaness too, make me oh so mad at you.

 

You took off your diaper and pooped on the floor, is that chocolate or dirt? I don’t know anymore.

 

You’ve literally started climbing the walls. You don’t need three beds, you need three stalls.

 

“Give me, give me, give me… presents,” you say. So I can look at them for a second, then throw them away.

 

You’re driving me crazy so I must declare, LOOK under your tree…POOF,  it’s bare.

So, that’s the plan. Elf goes away & takes the presents with him. I’m just losing my mind! Are everyone else’s kids crazy? Are y’all thinking of running away? Do you buckle them in the car, shut the door, then stand outside taking deep breaths?

I fully intended to be prepared this year. I planned to keep the Christmas consumerism craziness away from my home. I was going to teach them the true meaning of Christmas. I’ve failed, I have failed miserably. Here are some pictures to prove it.

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Climbing the walls
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This child! The jumping, climbing, running…
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I don’t even know? (Oh, I’m hoping, with a onesie snapped over his pants, he can’t take his diaper off!)
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What?
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Unidentified substance
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vaseline bandit
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Crying because she wanted the Pink Playdoh from the goodie bags we made for her FRIENDS!! 😡😡

They are pretty cute though! And, SO much fun! 😊