Category Archives: Fashion

Summer Week One (Or, That Time I Was Photographed Naked)

Well, it’s here! Summer. I love summer! I’ve always loved summer. My daughter’s middle name is Summer. I couldn’t think of a more beautiful word to describe her lovely little face! Summer makes the worst parts of teaching bearable…well, that and helping shape young minds and all…However, this week has been…ummmmm….long.

It started with fighting. The boys have a newfound love of wrestling, and this has truly brought a fun level of creativity to the fights. They’ve yet to discover the dramatization that occurs when a ‘professional’ wrestler choke holds his opponent. The same reaction doesn’t occur when a six year old non actor places the choke hold on his four year old brother. 

I thought the kids needed bonding time after their blood inducing wrestling match, so we pulled out the Headbands game. This is always risky. Baby boy cheated nonstop. Bubba lost his temper and yelled inappropriate things. Sissy…well, she can’t handle losing. Everyone was ‘disciplined’ at one point, and old school tactics, like using soap to clean mouths, may have been employed. 

After wrestling, board games, and tons of swimming I decided to torture myself by entering Target with three kids. The Target dressing room we found ourselves in was clearly created with a teeny tiny sixteen year old in mind, not three kids and a sweaty Mama with a handful of spandex. I handed the kids my phone with a kid game pulled up. I thought this would distract them long enough for me to try on fifty swimsuits. As I tried in vain to pull up a neon orange swimsuit with the word FIRECRACKER printed across the front, I heard muffled giggles. For one solitary moment I felt joy because my sweet babies were finally having fun together. One. Solitary. Moment. 

I glanced to my left and froze in horror. The phone’s camera was pointed straight up at me. Yep. The camera. I screamed and grabbed my phone, quickly deleting without even peeking at the atrocity that had been recorded. We had a discussion, discipline was carefully doled out. This photo was accidentally taken in the aftermath.  We left Target without a swimsuit. 

I’m not sure I will survive this summer. If I don’t, all three of my readers can explain to the world that my kids killed me with their shenanigans. 

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Cutting your hair like Michelle Williams’ does not change your face.

A little over a year ago, something came over me (pregnancy hormones). I decided to chop my hair into a pixie cut; a short, short, SHORT, pixie cut. It’s such an adorable word… Pixie. Who doesn’t want to look like a tiny little tinker bell-like pixie? The key word is tiny, which I was nowhere near after my FIFTY pound weight gain! (It was all baby, I had a 50 pounder.)
I walked into the hair salon, handed the stylist a picture of Michelle Williams, then begged him to cut.
The stylist asked several times, “Are you sure?” I said I was 100% sure. I really thought I would feel empowered while looking so cute, but the truth is, the ‘I did it’ feeling lasted about five minutes and was followed by a massive, crushing, sense of regret. Here is a little photo walk I would like to entitle: How I Thought I Looked versus How I Actually Looked.

Michelle Williams:

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Me:

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Michelle:

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Me:

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Michelle:

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Me:

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You get the idea. If you have the pixie cut fever, keep in mind, cutting your hair like Michelle Williams’ (or any other pixied celebrity) does not change your face into Michelle Williams’ (or other pixied celebrity’s) thin little face. Do not do it! You will regret it!

 

Then again, just go for it! Who cares? It will grow… It’s just hair! It only took a year and a half for my hair to fit into a ponytail again!

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Yoga Pants

If you were to see me on a daily basis you would believe me to be some type of chubby yoga instructor. I love yoga pants.

You can do everything you need to do on any given day while wearing yoga pants. In my yoga pants, I take my daughter to school, shop, clean, run errands…I do pretty much everything but yoga.

I keep my yoga pants wadded up in a drawer, and because of their slightly inappropriate tightness they can be thrown on at a moment’s notice. Yoga pants are made from some type of magical material that repels baby vomit so that it’s hardly noticeable. Unless, of course, my nose gets close to my leg & I accidentally get a whiff. (Which rarely happens because I’m not doing yoga.)

Yoga pants can be dressed up with a nice t-shirt if you are going somewhere fancy like Chick-fil-A. They can also be dressed down with a 14 year old high school t-shirt (not a 14 year old’s shirt, but my shirt… from high school… which was 14+ years ago). The dressed down version is quite suitable for outings such as my daughter’s dance class or my son’s basketball lessons. Now, if you really want to spruce those yoga pants up, just put a cardigan on top of your t-shirt! I usually save this special ensemble for my days at Pecanland Mall.

So ladies, if you are going to invest in a really versatile piece of clothing, I suggest yoga pants.