Primal Children

When left to their own devices my children turn into the most primal version of man: gathering and eating acorns, smearing paint on walls, creating weapons from sticks, using said weapons to enforce their own twisted form of punishment (example: you take my acorn, I hit you with stick), and lastly urinating on everything except the potty (this specifically pertains to male children). Be careful when approaching children in this state. It appears their uninhibited nature rubs off on adult humans as well. You may find yourself screaming, swatting, and chasing after the children in an animalistic manner.
By observing this phenomenon in myself and others I have learned to recognize the first signs: baring teeth at siblings, incessant question asking, and being especially annoying. The main trigger seems to be electronic devices. If you are using a cell phone, be on the lookout! The children see this as an opportunity to cause major damage.

I must spend the rest of my day scrubbing paint, nursing wounds, and sweeping acorns. Lesson learned. .