Campaign Failure

My short lived political career…

It all began with a dream of peace, harmony, and the pursuit of adorable Halloween costumes.

My platform: Star Wars Halloween Costumes For All (Girl-Princess Leia, Boy-Luke Skywalker, Baby Boy-Yoda)

I started with the easiest target, the baby AKA Yoda. When asked if he would help champion my proposal he responded with a giggle which I took to mean, “Of course Mama! I will obey you always and do whatever you think is best!” Or something like that.

Next up, the boy. I believed his recent obsession with Star Wars would ensure his compliance.

Me, using my down home, one of the people voice: “Hey, you wanna be Luke Skywalker?”

Boy: “I wanna be a bat.”

Hmmmmm, tougher than I expected but no need to worry. I can roll with the punches.

Me: “Luke Skywalker is a hero!”

Boy: “Is he the good guy?”

Me, excited he is getting on board: “Yes!”

Boy: “I wanna be a bat.”

Me: “Don’t you wanna be a hero?”

Boy: “Does he bite people and have claws?”

Me, becoming concerned: “No…”

Boy: blank stare.

Me, smiling a sneaky smile: “Do you like those swords that light up on the Lego Movie?”

Boy, excitement returning: “Yes!”

Me: “Well, would you like to be Darth Vader? He has one of those awesome swords and he chops stuff & fights people.” (Keep your judgements to yourself, we all do what we have to do!)  I could see by the gleam in his eye that I had indeed won him over.

Boy: “Yes Mam!”

Woo Hoo! I could taste victory!

Now, for the most educated, oldest, and greatest critic….The Girl.  Oh the girl! This would take more than your run of the mill persuasion techniques! I needed to employ some serious campaign tricks.

#1. Confusing the constituents with language beyond their understanding.

Me: “You wanna be a princess from a faraway intergalactic land?”

Girl: “I wanna be a pretty white kitty.”

#2. Lying Stretching the truth.

Me: “Well, Princess Leia wears a beautiful dress and is loving and kind to all animals. She really likes kitties!”

Girl: “Let me see what she looks like.”

#3. Use Visuals that depict your agenda in way that is appealing to your voters.

I knew sister was not going to be happy with this. But I could not be deterred. Like a true politician no one could stop me from trying super hard to give people things they didn’t really want in the first place.

Me, showing the Princess Leia picture: “Look sister, isn’t she pretty!”

image

Girl, hands on hips, face scrunched: “Why does she have two balls on her head?”

And there you have it. Who could blame her? Sister was not gonna be a princess with two balls on her head.

I could’ve shown her the Bikini Leia, but that’s just bad parenting. So I relinquished. I handed them the iPad & let them pick their costumes.

Besides… did we have any less fun at Halloween when we just wore those plastic faces and vinyl dresses?

old halloween

 

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